i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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