I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
