Im at strip club and am horny
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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