he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
