Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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