is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
