he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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