she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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