Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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