omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
