i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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