I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
