Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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