He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
