so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
