There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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