So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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