There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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