What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
