He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
