He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
