do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
