I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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