Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Porn is love you can see.
Don't make out with my wife yet
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
