Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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