Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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