The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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