non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
