I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So squirting runs in the family.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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