and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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