you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
