there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
