Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize