Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
