now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
