Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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