im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
