ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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