I feel great
I just peed on a car
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Blood and glitter go together right?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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