you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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