Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
