just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The air taste purple.
Randomize
