porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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