around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
