She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
