weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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