just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
