My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
