i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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