i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The Olympian is in my bed
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