so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
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