I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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