UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
