if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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