It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
