I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
