I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
