Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
