Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
