This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
