I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
