when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
