Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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