Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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