have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Randomize