She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
