So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
